There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
