It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
