If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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