youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
