why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
