Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
