i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
