So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
