My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
