I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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