lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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