please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
