Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
