one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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