whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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