If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
