I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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