I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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