Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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