is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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