We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
