Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
