The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
