I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
