Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
