She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
