Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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