please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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