the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
