Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
