Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
