We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
