Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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