Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
