Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
