Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
