my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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