If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
vagina is talking i cant
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
