i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
