I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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