Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
