Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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