tell your sister to shave her snatch
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
