Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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