Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize