im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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