Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize