It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
