How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
