I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
