Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
