How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize