It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
