her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
