remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
