i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
