She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
