this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
