is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
