Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
sex in a hospital.. check
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
